My way and the Lords way

I have found that one of my most persistant personality traits is my independence. I hate the very thought of being dependent on anyone. I don't like too many stringent regulations on how I conduct my work. I don't like getting money I dont deserve since it tells me that I'm dependent on someone elses money for my support. I dont even really like set schedules. I guess thats why I chose the education I chose. Because it gives me freedome in my work.
The flipside of this striving for independence is that while I always wanted independence I never learned how to deal with actually having it. How to get myself to do the right and necessary things when noone was watching me or telling me what to do.

Enter the current war on lazyness. Now you'd think that I'd finally found the tools to deal with my inability to handle independence and finaly I would become a complete person in this respect. How wrong I was. Things went great to start with but soon I began noticing that something wasn't right. I looked at what I was doing but couldnt figure it out. And in most respects the program I've put myself under has been working great, there was just that undefinable thing... It wasnt until this sunday that I finaly figured out what it was. I had pretty much cut out the one person that made all of it possible and who lead me to the point where I made the decision to change. So in order to rectify this misstake I am here going to give my tribute to that one person.

Jesus Christ, the son of God, the Saviour of the world, the Creator of heaven and earth, the prince of peace, is my personal friend and brother! This realisation and testimony has come to me slowly over the last few years. He brought me to where I am today through counless trials and tribulations. To an outside observer it might seem like I should be angry instead of thankfull. But whenever I think of him its thankfullness that fills my heart. I cannot even begin to describe my feelings as I think of the times I've served him. The love I've felt, and the painfull truths about myself he has revealed. It was he who pressed upon my mind the gravity of my situation. It was he who comforted me when I felt that it was too much to bear, that it was hopeless and that I would remain the way I was forever. It was he who asked me, time and time again, to step out into the darkness and find the path back. It was he who presented me with the tools I needed to get my life in order, and I promptly forgot all he had done and trusted entirelly in the methods of man. But he was patient and lead me gently back to the path.

In summary I can say that I know that my redeemer lives! I know that he died for me, and the very thought makes me feel a stab of sorrow as well as overwhelming joy that he loved me so, that he would die for me. I know that he rose again on the third day and in so doing freed us all from the shackles of death. I can never thank him enough fo all that he went through in order to save a simple soul like mine. May I never forget his love and sacrifice and may I always remember his words to his appostles: "...I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." (Matt 28:20)

May I leave this tribute and testimony to you all and with this end todays entry, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen