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I thought it was high time to break the finish dominance in the Blog forum. :P

For those who dont know me, I am a 25 year old design student currently taking a break from school to work for a year. I am living the free single life in Göteborg and have been mostly enjoying it so far. But about a week ago I came to a poignant and lifechanging realization: I'm Lazy!

I have allways suspected it and have even joked about how that is one of my main traits. I am not talking about regular, to tired to have a hobby lazyness here. I'm talking about being Lazy. (Notice the capital L) I suspect it started at the end of last summer when I found out that one of my closest classmates had died in a Motorcycle accident. That semester started on a very sombre note and never really got any better. I told myself I was over it and could keep going as usuall but when the schoolyear ended I was way behind on my credits and absolutely hated being anywhere near the schoolbuildings. (During my first and second year I practically lived there) Looking back at the year I realized I was slowly slipping into a pattern of not getting things done, allways scrambling to finish assignments in the last minute possible and never really excelling in anything. I failed test after test and my confidence in my ability to actually pass a test was withering away. In the midst of all this my scripture studies and my prayers went from bad to worse. A few times during the year I made attempts to get back on track and was successfull for a week or so at a time.

All this time I realized my situation was going out of control, but I didn't seem to have the strength, or rather the method, to get myself out of it. Toward the end of the schoolyear the magnitude of my crisis was beginning to dawn on me. I slowly forced myself to get back to the scriptures and start praying again. That lead to the temple where I after a terrible sleepless night in the guesthome came up with a plan, or rather the beginnings of one. I decided to take a break in my studies and work for a year and use that time to get back on track. This felt really good and I felt the Lord confirmed that this was the right thing to do. I figured I'd get back to my job from last year and work there, raking in the cash (It was pretty well payed for a starter-job.) This was however not the Lords plan. My job application got rejected and I ended up in an extended period of unemployment. My economic situation deteriorated and my problem with not getting things done resurfaced. All this I knew but I kept pushing away the feelings and burried myself in different ways to entertain myself.

What finaly woke me up was a meeting in my church calling last tuesday. I came there terribly unprepared and came away feeling that I wasn't getting any of my responsibilities done. I felt really down and for the first time it really hit me that I wasn't the only one getting hurt by this. My problem hurt my calling and the people that it affected. I was feeling really sorry for myself until Elder Tolboe told me that hard times hit us all but what defines the person is what we do with them. That immediately made me think I was a looser. But then I rebelled against that thought. How could I accept that of myself? Being a looser was never a part of my plan!

That night I came home and immediately, probably out of stubborn quiet rage at myself, got all my assignments done. I then wrote a list of things that had to be done the next day and put it on the keyboard of my computer (The computer being the main distraction for me.) To my own amazement I actually did the whole list, which included boring tasks that I'd put of for weeks, and made a new one for the next day. A week has now passed and I'm still going strong. I'm nowhere near perfect and there are still many areas I need to work on. In this blog I'm going to let you follow my progress and tell you about some methods that have helped me so far. But this post is allready way too long so I'm going to leave that for tomorrow! See you all then!